23 months

Today my baby is 23 months old. I only have one more month until he's 2. In an effort to ease the tugging on my heart as that day grows near I've been referring to Little M as a two year old for a few weeks now. Pretty much since he learned how to throw a temper tantrum. :) Who teaches them that by the way?!?! I sure didn't teach him! And when do I stop counting his age in months? "Your boy is so cute! How old is he?" "Oh he's 196 months old." :D

Here's what my little monkey is up to these days:

• Walking RUNNING everywhere



• Laughing at everything



• New dance moves (I HAVE to record this. He really knows how to wiggle his hips!)



• Feeding himself



• He has all his teeth. Including his one year molars



• Constantly babbling. But does know Dog, Daddy, Mom, Kitty and Keegy



• Recognized our new car when I pulled into the driveway the other night and said "Mom"


• Screeching and screaming just to hear his own voice



• Kicks a soccer ball



• Starting to mimic. If I let out a deep sigh, so will he. :)



• Initiates a game of peek-a-boo



• Whispers



• Understands basic commands and questions. i.e. "come here", "hand me that", "do you want to walk", "are you hungry/thirsty", "No!" (although he ignores this last one.)



• Stacking objects



• Give hugs/snuggles to the dogs and sometimes mom and dad



• Goes to sleep on his own (most of the time)



• Sleeps through the night almost every night



• IS CURRENTLY NOT NEEDING O2 AT BEDTIME!!!!!!!

I still remember the day he was born and getting the phone call that flipped our world completely, like it was yesterday. I remember holding him for the first time when he weighed only 2 pounds and fit in the palm of my hands. I remember his vitals stabilizing while I held him and the nurse "just happening" to get busy while I held him so I got an extra 20 minutes of snuggle time. I remember being on top of the world after meeting him and then sinking so low when we had to leave him behind. I remember sitting in the tiny little closet room the night before he was discharged to us. Not able to sleep because I was so excited. I sat there and just watched him. Listened to him. Memorized him.

In the 21 months since he's been home and the nearly two years he's been alive so much has happened. We've had far too many health scares, a diagnosis we're still in a little denial about but making peace with, and many, many other challenges. I've spent countless hours worrying he won't catch up or meet his developmental milestones. And every.single.time he's just gotten it one day. And every single time I cry. Because I know how special that really is. I don't take one second for granted with this kid. :)

Avery

I stumbled upon this blog the other day. This sweet little girl, Avery, has SMA type 1. SMA is another form of neuro-muscular disease. Only hers is FAR more severe than Little M's.


Her parents are an inspiration. She is a little fighter.


You'll probably need tissues. I did.

http://averycan.blogspot.com

5K number two

I'm still on track to do at least 5 5k's this year.  Numero dos was on 4/14.  I did the Color Dash with Aunt Liz and Keegy.  It was a flat course, two laps around the park.  But it was on a bark trail.  That's like running/walking on soft sand!  OUCH!  At least I opted to leave Little M with Grandma (just getting out the ICU with RSV and all!).  There's no way I could have pushed the stoller on that buisness!  And I did it 1 hour.  I'm really hoping to get my times better, but seeing how I don't really train for these things, it's no surprise I'm staying the same.  At least I'm not getting slower, right??

Easter

Easter is a big deal. It's a very religious holiday for me. I absolutely HATE when people turn it into all about the Easter Bunny and presents! Yes the EB comes to my house. But it's with a small basket and one or two treats and MAYBE a small new toy. That's it! In fact I get more joy from celebrating Holy Week than anticipating a visit from the EB.

This year I spent the first half of Holy Week in the ICU in CA and the second half trying to make up some serious hours at work. All while having a sick baby at home and being sick myself. So I missed Mass on Holy Thursday and Stations of the Cross on Good Friday. I was really sad about that but really there was nothing I could do. I was that much more excited about Easter Sunday Mass. Until about 11:00 P.M. the night before when I realized Little M had NOTHING to wear. Thank goodness for 24-hour big box stores and one outfit in Little M's size left! :)

Easter was wonderful. Mr. Temmie had the morning off so he was able to go to Mass with us. We were able to have a nice lunch together and then he went to work for a few hours while Little M napped and I made a cake.



Thank you P.interest for the cake idea!!



We spent the evening at my sister's house with all our family and even got to take Little M off the O2 while he was awake.  All in all it turned out to be a nice day.

Healing

Little M is getting better. He's back to room air when awake and only 1/4L when sleeping. He's got the spark back in his attitude and has had me in stitches laughing the last few days.

I'm getting better too. I no longer feel like an elephant is sitting on my chest and head.

Now if we could just find a new car. I think that is the last piece of the puzzle and the chaos will be done.

We went car shopping last night. Mr. Temmie is in charge since he's the "car guy". We went to 3 different dealerships and Mr. Temmie test drove several vehicles. I didn't want to deal with getting a car seat in and out, or a toddler getting in and out. So Little M and I stayed behind and walked all over the place. He explored everything he could. By the time we got home he was filthy! But he had fun. :) I was exhausted! I think tonight I'm going to see if Grandma can watch him for a while so we can look some more. I'd really like to get this wrapped up today! That way I can focus on getting the house clean, grocery shopping, and prepping for the 5K I'm registered for on Saturday. :)

Cue circus music...

So much crap has happened in the last two weeks, if it weren't all craptastic it'd be comedic. It all started with the car accident. From here I'm going to bullet point the rest. It's just too much!

• 3/23 car accident


• 3/24-3/30 back and forth on the phone w/CA relatives waiting to see if Grandpa is going to pass away.


• 3/29 Little M's sweat test and then sweating it out waiting for the results


• 3/30 decide to make quick weekend trip to CA to say goodbye to Grandpa


• Get pulled over on Donner's Pass for lead footage


• Notice Little M has a runny nose and cough


• 3/30-3/31 miss turn off in Sacramento and end up about 1 1/2 hours south of our destination


• 3/31 arrive at mother-in-laws house in the middle of the night but can't get Little M to settle and go to sleep.


• Find out Grandpa is being discharged to home hospice, end up spending the day getting MIL's house set up for him to arrive


• Little M's nose is running like a faucet. Requires O2 at night despite being at sea level


• 4/1 Little M wakes up with temp of 102.3 and is extremely congested


• Spend whole day with clingy baby and have to make a drug store run for more M.otrin.


• Miss out on visiting family since Little M slept all day


• 4/2 Rush to pack the car and head home, Little M pukes all over when loading him in the car.


• Make detour to local ER instead of heading home


• Diagnosed with RSV and transferred to bigger hospital with a PICU


• 4/2-4/4 Unexpected PICU stay with round the clock nebs and suction


• 4/4 I wake up with an elephant sitting on my chest and head


• Convince docs to send us home. Leave CA late afternoon


• Little M de-sats going over Donner's Summit. Dropped to 65% on 4L O2. He stabilized once we got back to about 3000 ft. elevation.


• Get migraine from head congestion and dang near puke all over the car.


• Realize that due to de-sat episode we now no longer have enough O2 to get home if we stop for the night.


• Get pulled over for lead footage in a construction zone


• Almost hit 3 deer. Thank goodness their eyes glow in the dark so I saw them!


• Arrived home at almost 4:00 am and had to get up and go to work


• Phone/alarm didn't auto reset time zones, was an hour late


• 4/5 Little M's saturations bounce all over from 70's to 90's. Mr. Temmie almost calls for EMS but Dr. J says she can see him right away.


• Determine pulse/ox machine is on the fritz. Little M is fine


• Establish that I have almost no PTO and have to work 34 hours in 3 days.


• We still haven't had time to find or buy a new car


• We ran out of portable O2 so I had to coordinate babysitters at home (thank everything for family!!


• And now Mr. Temmie is getting sick

I'm beginning to feel like the biggest attention whore, slacker!! I'm sure my boss cringes every time she sees a text from me. I just want to come to work, go home, have dinner with my boys and relax. I want boring. I really think it's someone else's turn. I won't lie, I've lost my sh!t more than a dozen times the last two weeks.

Anyway, it's all done now. By tomorrow things should settle a little. I'm really looking forward to Easter Mass and then dinner with family. Little M is on the mend. I'll get there. So will Mr. Temmie.

I keep trying to remember what my sweet papa always used to say, "A hundred years from now, none of this will matter."