Touched my heart.

With all the drama lately, this was nice to read. And while most of Little M's issues are not related to being a preemie, he still is/was one.

How Preemie Moms are Chosen
By Erma Bombeck

Did you ever wonder how the mothers of premature babies are chosen?
Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth, selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to take notes in a giant ledger.
"Beth Armstrong, son. Patron Saint, Matthew.
Marjorie Forrest, daughter.Patron Saint, Celia.
Carrie Rutledge, twins. Patron Saint ... give her Gerard. He's used to profanity. "
Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles.
"Give her a preemie. "
The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy."
"Exactly," smiles God. "Could I give a premature baby a mother who knows no laughter? That would be cruel."
"But does she have the patience?" asks the angel.
"I don't want her to have too much patience, or she'll drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it. I watched her today. She has that sense of self and independence so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has a world of its own. She has to make it live in her world, and that's not going to be easy."
"But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."
God smiles. "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just the right amount of selfishness. "
The angel gasps, "Selfishness?! Is that a virtue?"
God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally, she will never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't know it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a spoken word. She will never consider a step ordinary. When her child says 'mama' for the first time, she will be witness to a miracle and know it. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see ignorance, cruelty, prejudice and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."
"And what about her Patron Saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in the air.
God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."

Results

Little M's sweat test results are back. I'm so glad they came back so quickly. And PRAISE THE LORD!!!!!!! He does not have cystic fibrosis!!!

What a relief that is. I feel like I can take a deep breath for the fist time in about a week.

And on top of that great news... Things with the accident seem to be calming down too. We settled with our insurance for the total loss of vehicle. They cut us a check today. Little M's injury claim (or lack there of!) was closed and he was issued a settlement (crazy!!). My worst injury is a bruised muscle in my chest from the seat belt. I'm finally able to move a little better and not AS sore. I still hurt like hell, but it's getting better.

The other driver's insurance is claiming we are 50/50 liable for the accident. My insurance is calling bull sh!t it's more like 70/30. 70 for the other guy, 30 for me. I agree with my insurance of course! So they are going to fight with the other company to get things worked out.

And I'm still going to fight my ticket. How can you cite someone for "failure to yield" when they are in fact YIELDING!?!?!?!

And we still have to make time to see Mr. Temmie's grandpa one more time. He was diagnosed with Mesothelioma and stage 4B Skin Cancer. He doesn't have much time left. Hoping he finds peace and comfort soon.

While we wait....

Last night I was making dinner and Little M was in his high chair having a small snack. He loves him some banana!! So I gave him several slices of banana to hold him over.

As I cooked I was having a conversation with Little M. I asked how his day was, if he'd had fun with his Aunts looking for counter tops, etc. He of course replyed in jibberish since he doesn't really talk yet. But the IDEA of conversation was there so it was all good.

Then I noticed what he was doing. He hit another developmental milestone. I cried the happiest tears. He was STACKING his banana slices. It was four high when I saw it. He gave me the proudest smile as I praised his banana stack.


And then he smashed the whole thing into the tray. Love that kid!!!

Too much.

There is so much going on right now my head is spinning.

• Little M has his sweat test this week.

• I've been on the phone with both car insurance companies trying to sort out the accident.

• I have my own doc appointment to see how my weight loss is going and since I'm there I may as well get these bruises checked out.

• And now Mr. Temmie's grandpa is really sick. He's been admitted to the hospital in CA for pneumonia and an unidentified infection. He also has Mesothelioma and Skin Cancer. We're pulling any spare change we can find to be ready for a trip to CA for the funeral. We just don't know when it will be.

I could really use some quiet about now....

Ouch.

I was in a car accident today. A really bad one. Basically, I was trying to get into the center lane to merge into Westbound traffic and an idiot decided to bypass all the Eastbound traffic by driving in the center lane. He hit me nearly head on. His airbags deployed, mine did not. Both our vehicles are most likely totalled. Little M was in the car with me. He is just fine. I'm beat. to. sh!t. I have a bruise across my chest that looks just like the seatbelt that caused it. Thank God I was wearing it. The other guy got a bloody nose from his airbags. I don't know if there were any other injuries. We're waiting for the insurance to determine percentage of fault since we were both given citations. Mine was for failure to yeild. His was for traveling in the center lane. I'm going to fight mine.

Schweaty

Sweat test is scheduled for the morning of 3/29. Instructions are to have Little M well hydrated and bring lots of warm clothes to dress him in, you know, to make him sweat. We'll get the results a few days later.

Fingers crossed.....

More doctors, more tests, more fear

Back in February, we had another stay in baby jail. While we were there, one of the residents got a wild hair up her hind quarters and read Little M's entire history. She noted that he had elevated liver enzymes back in 2010. WE had seen a GI doc then and it was decided he had a premature liver and more blood work was ordered and a referral to Neurology was made. That's when the DMD was diagnosed. I didn't think anything else of it. Well this resident demanded we have labs drawn to follow up. I should have said no, but what if something really was wrong. Best case, it's a tiny stick for blood and everything comes back fine. Worst case, it's a tiny stick (at 4:00 in the morning!!!) and it comes back not fine. It came back elevated higher than before. Damn it!

So today we had a follow up with the GI doctor we saw before. Shockingly, she remembered us. Or at least his history anyway. She looked over the most recent labs and history. She kept talking about how elevated enzymes are sometime just a side effect of the DMD. She wasn't concerned about the size of his liver at all. It sounded like we were going to get out of an appointment without something new wrong! She even said he doesn't appear to have any liver disease! Horray!!!

Then the other shoe dropped. Because of his elevated enzymes, recurrant respiratory illnesses and elevated CK level, she's concerned he has Cystic Fibrosis. It's been know to happen in kids with DMD. So Little M has to have a sweat chloride test done next week some time.

I'm terrified.

Finding momentum

About 3 years ago I decided I'd had enough with my weight. Mr. Temmie and I joined a gym and we were religious about going 3-4 times a week. Slowly we petered out. But I was still determined to lose weight. I modified my diet a little and I was successful at permanently losing about 15 pounds.

Like many people, my desire to lose weight was fueled in early 2010. Then we found out about Little M. And while my desire was still there, I suddenly had eleventy billion things to do to get ready for a baby and then the actual baby to take care of. And he turned out to be a sick baby on top of everything else. So, need/want to get healthy, yes. Time, NO. But I still managed to not gain back any of the 15 lst pounds.

Then my brother had a heart attack at 40 and my dad died. My brother's heart attack was enough motivation to go to a doc for a check up. Losing my dad sent me into a funk (that I am admittedly still in). I lost about 8 more pounds.

I had my physical and blood work done early this year. My ticker seems to be good, but my blood pressure was high. All my other labs came back normal, but my weight loss was stalled. Working with my doc we found some combinations of medication and diet that we think will help. I'm doing all I can to increase my movement (hello 5k's!) and decrease the garbage food I like to eat.

To date I have lost 32 pounds. I hit a major milestone for myself by crossing back over to a number I haven't seen in nearly 8 years. It's definitely fueled my motivation to keep going. :)

First 5K for 2012

I said I wanted to do at least 5- 5K's this year. Well check off one! Little M, Aunt Liz and I did the Leprechaun Lope today. It was a lot of fun to see everyone dressed up. Next year we need to pull out the big guns to compete with these people as far as dressing up! We also decided we like these themed runs. It's a ton of fun!





The course however was a beast!!! The first 3/4 of the course was up hill and then down hill for the last 1/4. My thighs are still burning!! But we had a great time and we'll be back next year for sure!