June 10- headed to California for Mr. Temmie's nephew's graduation. This trip had been planned since long before Little M was born. But now we could talk to people face to face and figure out what was going on. We arrived in town on Friday and spent the rest of the day trying to figure out the graduation plans. I of course wanted to do nothing more than go to the hospital and meet my baby, but I didn't want to seem like a vulture either so I kept really quiet. I still had my guard up in case this all fell through, but Mr. Temmie's family kept asking if I was excited to be a mom. So, slowly I let my guard down and started getting excited.
On Saturday June 12 Mr. Temmie's nephew graduated from high school. We threw together and impromptu BBQ at my mother-in-law's house. It was a nice small gathering of various family. And them Mr. Temmie's cousin arrived, with her daughter (our birth mother). I had never met her before and she was pretty quiet. Again I didn't want to be a vulture and be like, "hey how's it goin', give me your baby!" So I just stuck close to Mr. Temmie and stayed quiet. Then someone asked if we wanted to take birth mom and go to the hospital to see the baby. I don't know how I didn't scream "YES!!!!!!", but I managed a perfect, calm, non-chalant "that would be nice." So we took Mr. Temmie's cousin and birth mom to the hospital. It was about 8:30 at night when we got there.
Birth mom and her mom went back first. Only birth mom and one other person were allowed at the bedside so Mr. Temmie and I waited in the waiting room. I was so nervous. I couldn't stop fidgeting. Then her mom came out and I got to go back. I signed in at the desk and the clerk pointed the way. When I walked in birth mom was getting some info from the nurse. Then the nurse asked who I was. I told her I was birth mom's cousin's wife. Birth mom told her I was going to adopt the baby. At that point the nurse's eyes lit up. She filled me in on his day and how he was doing. She also asked if we wanted to hold him. She said birth mom would go first for 20 minutes and then if he was doing o.k. I could hold him for 20 minutes. I have to say it was awkward to be there with birth mom. I didn't know her and I didn't want her to think I was being pushy, but I wanted to hold that baby and never let go.
When the nurse was ready, we did something called a kangaroo hold. It was skin to skin contact. Basically we pulled open our shirts and the nurse placed Little M on our chests. Then we closed up our shirts and were covered with a warm blanket. He was still to little to wear anything except a diaper so his skin was again our skin. As planned, birth mom went first. She really just sat there staring off into space. She didn't say anything. I made small talk with the nurse to pass the time. Soon it was my turn. I was worried because we had gone to the flea market that day and I (like and idiot!) forgot to wear sunscreen. My chest/neck were as red as a lobster. I asked if it was going to hurt Little M. The nurse laughed and said, "Actually he's going to LOVE it, you however are going to be in pain." During my turn, birth mom left to use the restroom. She was gone quite a while. While she was gone, the nurse told me how happy she was for us and that Little M was going to be adopted. She said birth mom rarely visited and she hadn't bonded with the baby at all. Oh and she was right, he was in HEAVEN on my chest. His heart rate and O2 saturation levels stabilized and he fell fast asleep. If I was in pain I didn't feel it because I was too elated from holding my baby for the first time. The nurse even "got really busy" when it was time for him to go back in the incubator and I got a bonus 25 minutes. I love that nurse!
When I was done, I said my silent goodbye's and hoped I would get another chance to visit before we had to head home. And then I let Mr. Temmie have a turn to see him. His visit lasted about 5 minutes. He doesn't do hospitals, tubes, doctors, illness very well. And to see a baby so tiny really freaked him out. After he was done, we drove birth mom home and made plans to visit the hospital again on Monday. I couldn't wait! Mr. Temmie asked if I was happy and I told him I was in heaven. I told him I was in love with another boy. He just smiled and held my hand. I was on top of the world.
That Monday, we picked up birth mom and headed back for another visit. Since it was a weekday we were able to meet the social worker. I asked if there was a way for me to call and check on the baby so birth mom didn't have to be a middle-man. She was very vague and told me that some other issues had to be worked out first and hopefully soon she could give me more info. I would later learn that the suspected birth father's mother was trying to get custody and stop the adoption. Only that all got squashed when the DNA test came back that he wasn't the birth father. Soon after that happened we were given a number to call the nurses for report.
I spent the next month calling the NICU twice a day to check on my little guy. Most of the nurses were very sweet and would give me real updates, not just a weight check and how his feeding was going. I also decided that I needed to see him again. So I planned a trip to visit over the July 24th (Utah) holiday weekend. Mr. Temmie couldn't come so I would have to come alone. That was going to be scary, but I had to see my son again.
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